Rebah

 السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

Yang bisa terus buat diri ini bangkit di setiap rebah,

moga kau takkan melemah — walau sekecil zarah

source

"Kau kata kau pakai purdah untuk jaga kehormatan. Tapi apa definisi kehormatan bagi kau? Kehormatan tu jauh lebih besar dari sekadar menutup anggota badan yang telah disyariatkan. Kehormatan tu akhlak. Kehormatan tu integriti. Kehormatan tu adab! Dan sorry to say Yong, semua tu aku tak nampak pada kau. Kalau kau pakai purdah demi sebuah kehormatan, lebih baik kau bersihkan dulu hati dan jiwa kau demi sebuah ketaqwaan!" - Gabbana 

lemah — kuncinya tabah

bi iznillah 

Pincang

 السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

kalau kita beramal untuk dilihat manusia, apa lagi yang tinggal untuk dilihat olehNya? -angelpakaigucci

mendidik hati dengan sifat kesederhanaan,
melatih diri usah jatuh cinta akan perhatian.

duhai hati-hati yang merangkak mengenali diri, semoga hatimu telus untuk mengenali pencipta hati. berhenti mengejar dunia, bukankah yang sempurna itu cuma Dia? 

hati itu tidak akan pernah puas, nafsu itu takkan mengalah terus bertegas

sedikit niat murni keping hatimu — ialah hadiah istimewa daripada penciptamu. 

Yakinlah..

SEMULA

 السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

sekembalinya semula pada Tuhan— semoga perjalanan ini kian utuh dalam setiap keluh tangis dan air mata penyesalan.

bagaimana sedikitnya pises-pises keyakinan dulu telah membawa bukaan hati satu-persatu, melorongkan hijab agar lebih tunduk untuk terus menilai dengan hati pada tiap-tiap kali pandangan pertama.

pada jiwa yang percaya
akan selalu terdidik sifat redha
melenyapkan segala cinta pada dunia
melenyapkan cinta yang sekian lamanya pada benda tanpa nyawa

Allahu, rembes air mata ini 

untuk dosa-dosa lama yang di pikul 
buat hati ini sering rasa terpukul


Tuhan, 
terbangkan aku pada cinta-cinta yang tidak sia-sia

"Bawa hati, dekat pada Tuhan. kuatkan hati— permulaan ini demi pengakhiran"

adaptasi dari kak laleyi

l 20082014, 1.20 pagi l

Unsaid

there is nothing more to say

because things are better left unsaid

lets give up on me, together

365

[38]

Hampir sepuluh minggu berlalu
perasaan yang dulu masih terbuku
dan puisi puisi lama yang sengaja dibeku

untuk satu hari ini 

ingatan buatmu muncul lagi
atas jangka pendek yang kita lalui
dan segalanya tidak di hargai

mudah
kerana 365 hari itu palsu
kau takkan mampu terus terus menipu
tentang hati-hati yang kau kumpul mengikut nafsu

kini
abjad berbentuk nama kamu
tidak mahu lagi aku imbas

tiada baitku manis-manis lagi
cukuplah sampai di sini

aku cuma mahu tunggu sehingga waktu itu
tatkala kau berhenti mengait hati hati rapuh itu
yang kondisinya sama seperti aku

macam dulu

Kau di sana

ada yang jatuh cinta pada kecantikan
ada yang jatuh cinta pada banyaknya kejayaan

namun aku boleh jatuh cinta hanya dengan kejujuran
yang bukan di lakon-lakon kan

moga kau di luar sana
lebih jujur pada Tuhan

Seperti sebelumnya

[37]

seperti lewat malam sebelumnya
aku masih congakkan tentang kita
jalan penuh curiga
dan tanda tanya

seperti beberapa purnama sebelumnya
adakah kita masih sama
menyembunyikan rasa ingin
meluahkan rasa yang terikat lain

seperti sekarang dan sebelumnya
lewat bicara kita

apa mungkin selamanya
atau kekal cuma sementara

Self-sabotage

السلام عليكم

It's has been awhile since my last blogged in. I'm already done with my Diploma in Acountancy. It's really a hectic years for me. Kinda busy mingled and studied with housemates and classmates for three years haha. I'll update pictures of em' soon.  I just hope I can excel well in this semester and score with the help of Allah, my beloved abah mak, family and of course friends.

Do you ever feel you wanna something turn out just like what you currently thought? Sigh. (God, save me!) I just don't get it, how people can hide their feeling infront of family, friends and all peoples. I wanna write something, but i just don't know how and where to start on. luls

Nantilah

One single change can bring about a total change. 

001 Craps

never lies to someone who trust you
never trust someone who lies to you

You knew what you were doing and you knew it would hurt me, but somehow, that still didn't stop you. The only words you'll regret more than the ones left unsaid are the ones you used to intentionally hurt someone. Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

source: tumblr

Even when your heart is breaking, you should smile. And some may think that it's bad to hide your feelings, but I think that pain should only be felt for a short amount of time. Happiness should out number it every day, every way. I wonder what you're doing right now and if you're okay. I hope you are. I wonder if you have trouble sleeping 'cause you're thinking too much and if you're sad. I hope you're not. I wonder if you think of me, miss me, and also wonder. I hope you do. All I want is a place to call my own and mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone.

I wish I could smoke a million cigarettes and not eat for a week to make the people around me worry and call you and tell you that I'm not doing so fine after all. Make sense? haha

source: tumblr

And all the while I say too much of what I think, and I can't remember what it's like to find meaning in anything for the life of me. Everyone I used to know, says they don't know what I've become, but I'm still the same; not much has changed, I still know where I came from. And all I ever wanted was so far from what I need. I'll write my songs, they'll sing along, and hope time heals everything. So I looked back on us today. I don't know why I missed you, why I wanted you back.


I spent hours, days, even months of our relationship worrying about who you might leave me for because there was always someone better than me. 
It was like poison slowly seeping through
 my body, infecting every possible organ, finally
 getting to my brain, telling me that this was it. This was the end. We weren't having fun anymore, and that's what you wanted right? I knew it was over before you said it, sweetheart.

source: tumblr

Because in every relationship there comes a point when the damage is too much and no matter how good it once was, the memories can't sustain you. You have to save yourself knowing all the while it will hurt like hell. Because you can't keep giving someone everything if you get nothing in return. I still wish there was somethin' you would do or say to try and make me change my mind and stay. 

I'm the kids who trying hard to be good enough for everyone; who spend hours reading random quotes to find the right one; who listen to the same song dozens of times because the lyrics mean a lot; who deserve so much more than they get and are willing to fight for it and whose wish upon a shooting star was wasted on someone that will never care.

im not emotional =,="

till then

xoxo